Twisted tales
by Scap
Summary: SR Slash. Sirius is a Prince who's Mother has just pased away, her final message was that the King should marry again. So what happens when the King falls in love with is own son? (My re-make of an old Fairy story)
1. this chapter loves you

Disclaimers at bottom, yeah. Oh, and this is slash, run away now if you are a close minded person. That's your warning, so if you flame me I'll send a wolf over to you on the full moon. Remus: *Jokingly* Grrr ^_^ Sirius: Uh, very scary *Coughs*Not*Coughs* Remy: Oh, shush you! ;P  
  
*Ahem*, are you done? Can I get on with this fic?  
  
S/R: Yes ma'am!  
  
*Grumbles* Men.  
  
This is just meant to be a bit of fun, so it isn't that wonderful!  
  
There is a ring in my pie!! A.K.A: I can't remember the name of the fairy tale that Iam ripping this off from! By Scap  
  
  
  
Once upon a time, in a land completely made up, there lived a Prince call Sirius.  
  
Prince Sirius was really handsome and looked very sexy in tight clothing, like leather (A/N: *drool*)  
  
He had long black hair that went all the way down his back to the middle bit of his bum (a very nice bum it was, and every one thought it was a shame that it was partly covered up by his lovely hair). His eyes were the colour of the blue waters that his tower/bedroom window looked out on to. His skin was the perfect balance between tanned and pale. This fine example of a prince was tall and strong with a finely toned body (A/N: *drooldrooldrooldrooldrool*)  
  
This God like body combined with his charm, wit, intelligence and heart- melting smile made him one of the most desired men in the kingdom.  
  
Remy: Scap, you have some owl post. What about? R: Siri's ego. It's too big! Uh ^_^;;  
  
One day his mother, the Queen Venus, fell ill with a fatal disease call Slashaphobea (she had just found out that her only son was gay!) and there was no hope for her! Doctors tried to save her by reading her many Het fics, but unfortunately they had chosen a really bad writer who had the stupidest couplings and so they chopped off the writers hea,,,um no, that's not nice. They chopped off the writers hair!!  
  
(A/N: Iam not describing any one in this bit, I do like a bit of Het so Iam not dissing it either if that's what you think I might be implying)  
  
The day turned to weeks and the weeks turned to moths (Remy: Moths? Have can weeks turn into moths? Me: Metamorphosis! ^_^ R: Uh, right) but still the poor Queenie was ill. Soon she would die.  
  
The kingdom sad, the King was sad but most of all, Sirius was sad. He blamed him self and locked the door to his tower/bedroom and didn't eat for months on end. (Siri: Are you I didn't eat for moths on end?)  
  
When some one tried to talk to him from the other side of the door the only answer they got was a muffled 'Leave me alone'  
  
The King tried everything to get his only son to leave his tower/bedroom, presents, sexy girls (then he remembered that his son was gay), sexy boys, weapons, the lot! But nothing happened and the prince refused to leave.  
  
  
  
One day the King was called to his beloved wife's side to discuss her passing away.  
  
"Yes my love? You called for me?" The King asked his wife, clasping her hand to his chest.  
  
"My darling husband, for so long you have been faithful to me when all around there has been temptation" At this the King looked guilty and nervous whilst several hand maidens tried to look innocent. "And for this Iam thankful"  
  
The King smiled at his wife "Is that all you wanted to say to me my love?"  
  
"No"  
  
"Ok"  
  
"Well"  
  
"Go on"  
  
"WhenIdieIwantyoutomarrysomeonewhoismorebeautifultheIam"  
  
"Pardon?"  
  
"*Sigh* When I die I want you to marry someone who is more beautiful then Iam!"  
  
"But, but, my love!! There is no one all the Kingdoms who could match your splendour! Let along better it!"  
  
The Queen smiled at this then all of a sudden started to cough violently, her body shaking with each one. At that moment Sirius burst though the doors to the room and ran up to his mother and shouted  
  
(S: *Gasps in anticipation * Finally! I get to be in this fic instead of just being talked about!)  
  
"Oh Mother! Please forgive me! You illness has been my entire fault! I cannot live out the rest of my life with your untimely death hanging over me!!"  
  
The Queen beckoned he son to come closer, closer, closer still, I SAID CLOSER DAMNIT!!!  
  
"My son, I love you with all my heart no matter what, so don't ask me for forgiveness when none is needed"  
  
Tears filled the three Royals eyes as they embraced each other, but only to find that when they pulled away the beloved Queen was dead!  
  
  
  
"NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"  
  
The Kings angst filled howl could be heard in the neighbouring Kingdom.  
  
  
  
~#~#~#~#~#~ *~Three Months Later~*  
  
  
  
The King sighed loudly as he sat slumped in his throne. His Queen had past on three months earlier leaving him one last message, he must Wed someone more beautiful then her self, a task that was proving to be impossible. 'Maybe this is some kind of cruel last joke, making me search until my own death for someone more perfect then my beloved Venus' The King sighed again and slumped even more. 'Well, at least Sirius is spending *some* time out and about instead of locking him self away from the outside world, even if it's only so he can aid me in my search' The King sighed even louder and slumped so low that he fell of the throne and knocked him self-unconscious.  
  
"Father?"  
  
'Whose voice is that?'  
  
"Father? Speak to me!"  
  
The King slowly opened his eyes to be greeted by a vision of beauty. The sun cast a halo around the person's head, black hair shining golden in the light, eyes glowing like an angel, red lips perfect for kissing. (S: Scap? Is the person behind me? Me: Umm, no S: Is my dad seeing things? Me: Nope, that's not it S: Oh. My. [BEEEEEPPP] Me: Heh ^_^;; )  
  
The King soon came to his senses (S: *Sighs in relief*) totally in love with his own son (S: Whhaaaaaaat??!!) and started to make secret plans for his engagement to Sirius.  
  
  
  
  
  
TBC  
  
Siri: You evil, evil girl!!  
  
Don't blame me!!  
  
Remy: You are the one who wrote this!  
  
Siri: Yeah!  
  
Yes, I wrote *this* but Iam basing it on a fairy tale in a book from my youth!  
  
Remy: You are a youth!  
  
Nooooo, Iam a teenager.  
  
Siri: Iam going to marry my dad!! What kinda messed up fairy tale has a dad marrying his own son!  
  
None of them! ^_^  
  
S/R: But,,,, ?  
  
But there is one that has a dad wanting to marry his daughter. Siri: Soo, what's going to happen to me?  
  
It depends on how many reviews I get!  
  
S/R: REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
  
  
  
  
I don't own anything! 


	2. Enter Harry! The Fairy Godson! Plus what...

Hihi! Iam glad you like this fic! (All of you who reviewed!) I'd like to thank each one of my reviewers! You're all so funny and made me laugh like the teenage girl Iam! This chapter is dedicated to: (I would have dedicated this to every reviewer but these are the first ones I got, so additional thanks will be at the bottom) Padfootwolfboy - Don't worry! Siri and Remy will be getting together (S/R: *Cheer*) Yes, Siri's daddy being in love with his own son is kinda ew, but our two canine friends would never meet if he didn't! passenger - Yes, is kinda cute! ^_^ Cupid's dancing porcupine - I just love your name! It's so cute! ^_^ And, as you can see, here is some more (S: 'Cos you asked so nicely!) Ann Valentine - Hmm, I don't think that's what it was called in my storybook but seeing as how Iam kinda doing this from memory (I can't find my book! *Crys*) I can't really say. Hmm, Buuut, Prince Furball is a very good name for this fic! I might change it to that!  
  
S: But what if someone else suggests a good name?  
  
Me: Uh, well, lets see.  
  
R: You don't know, do you?  
  
Me: Yes I do! Well, I do now anyway Remy, you just gave me an idea!  
  
R: Well, Iam your muse! But get on with it anyway!  
  
Ok peeps! Listen up! In your reviews for this chapter and the next, if you have a name for the fic then say so! I will then chose my five favourite names and get you lot to vote for yours, the one that the most people like will be the new name for the fic!!  
  
Now, on with the fic!!  
  
Oh, and this may not be very funny, Iam kinda on a humour block -_-;;  
  
S: Your always on a humour block.  
  
Chapter two! Sirius sees his Fairy Godson.  
  
  
  
Sirius was at one end of the dinner table, waiting for his Father to go sit at the other end. But it seemed as though he would much prefer sitting in Sirius's place instead.  
  
"Um, Father? Do you wish for me to sit in your place? You know, if you had wanted to switch places I would have liked to have been informed first" Sirius said as he started to walk to the other end of the table.  
  
"No son, I don't want to switch places, in fact, I want you to sit right where you always do, in this very chair"  
  
"Father, need I remind you that your in the chair, and for me to sit in the chair would mean I would have to sit in your lap" Sirius laughed nervously and started to back away from his Dad.  
  
King,,,,,,,, uh,, King,,,,,thingy?  
  
S: Scap? What was that all about?  
  
Me: I can't think of a name for the King ^_^;;  
  
R: How about Merton?  
  
S: Phil?  
  
R: Oriel?  
  
S: Joe?  
  
R: Balliol?  
  
S: Richard?  
  
R: Corpus?  
  
S: Luke?  
  
R: Keble?  
  
S: Kevin?  
  
R: Magdalen?  
  
Me: Shut up! The both of you! And Remy?  
  
R: Yup?  
  
Me: Why are you telling me Universities off my mouse pad?  
  
R: Uh, I like them?  
  
Me: Aaaaaaanyway, this has gone on far enough! The readers must be bored and I've picked a name for the King!  
  
King Jupiter smiled at his only son in a freaky kinda pervy way with an odd glint in his eye. He slowly sat back in the chair (one that Sirius was reeealy beginning to hate) and motioned that Sirius should park his sweet behind on the Royal lap. Sirius, sensing the danger, quickly feed his Royal insaneness a lie ("I think I hear Mother's ghost calling me, I'd better go see what she wants! Bye!") And made his escape. King Jupiter leaned forward in the chair and sighed "And I was just about to tell of the engagement party next week. Oh well" Then he set about eating his dinner, thinking about whom he should invite.  
  
Meanwhile, Sirius was pacing back and fourth in a large tower room, lavishly decorated with bright colourful tapestries, expensive fabrics hanging down from the ceiling that were hooked and gathered up at different place on the walls, changing their directions. Basically it was a really expensive looking, colourful, circular room.  
  
Nooo, this isn't our beloved Princy wincy's room. It was his visiting Godson's, Harry.  
  
Harry *would* have already known what was wrong with (Lookie! Four `W` words in a row!) his Godfather, seeing as how Harry was a *fairy* Godson. But he was to busy watching a sexy platinum blond boy with stormy blue eyes, soft perfect pale skin and a really, really, really hot body (oh and he was smart as well, like Harry would only love some one for their looks!) in Harry's beloved crystal ball*(1)  
  
Sirius sighed and flopped onto Harry's bed and looked over his shoulder into the glowing magical orb.  
  
"Jeez Harry, don't tell me you're stalking Prince Draco! I knew his Father, and if that were anything to go by I'd say you've got bad taste. Anyway, didn't know you'd met the Malfoys"  
  
Harry continued watching the blond boy, not even noticing that Sirius had spoken to him. Sirius waved his hand in front of his Godson's "Haaaaarrrrryyyyyyy. Heeelllooooo? Anybody hooooome?"  
  
Harry was suddenly snapped out of his daydream of how Draco's and his self's wedding (or to be more specifically, their wedding night) would be when Sirius jumped on him screaming "STOP IGNORING ME DAMNIT!"  
  
"AGH! OK! OK! JUST STOP JUMPING ON MY BACK!! Jeez, anyone would think you were a teenager, not a grown man!" Harry shoved Sirius off his back and `turned off` his crystal ball.  
  
"But Iam a teenager, I've only just turned 18"  
  
"Huh?!? That makes not sense! Iam 16! That should make you around 30ish"  
  
Just as the perplexed Sirius was about to answer Harry there was a loud knocking at the door. The two young men sat on the bed, staring at the door as if it had just started signing show tunes. After a minuet the loud banging started again, accompanied by female voice shouting "OPENUPOPENUPOPENUP!" Harry got up slowly and walked to the door. He opened it slightly to get a look at who was on the other side but instead found himself being flung back as the intruder um,, intruded? And standing in the doorway was  
  
R: Scap, please don't tell me you've given your self a part in the story!  
  
*Roles eyes* Of course I haven't! Jeez, I did ever did do a self-insertion I would say so in the Author's Notes at the top! Now, let's get on shall we?  
  
A petit skinny girl with long blond down past her back tied in a loseish plat. She had sun-tanned skin and wide deep blue eyes with long eyelashes that made her look adorable, she was the same age as Harry but looked more like a cute little 11 year old because she was so small and petite and well, young looking. (People who have read my other fic should know who it is by now!) She gave the rooms shocked occupants a friendly smile and introduced her self.  
  
"Hi! Iam Eleanor, but you can call me Ella! I was sent to tell you that yes, Harry is 16, and yes, Sirius is 18, and yes, that does make no sense 'cos Siri is the same age as Lilly and James as well as being Harry's Godfather. (Although, Iam not saying that Godparents can't be only a few years older then their Godchildren) The author would be very grateful if you refrained from talking about this abnormality, she also apologises for this and will give her poor excuse of an explanation to you later. Ok? Get it? Got it? Good! Byebye now!" And off she went, back to where ever it was she came from.  
  
"Well" Said Harry, getting up from the floor and dusting him self off "That was, um,, educational"  
  
"Yes, very" Sirius agreed in a deadpan voice.  
  
Harry walked back to the bed and collapsed onto it. "So Sirius, what brings you to my tower at dinner time? Shouldn't you be wolfing down dessert right about now?" Sirius sighed (S: For what seems to be the millionth time this chapter, Scap! What's up with everybody sighing? ME: Creative block. Now leave me alone! I wanna get this done so I can post it!) "I don't know what to do, for the past few days Fathers been acting really strange!"  
  
"So? That's nothing out of the ordinary"  
  
"Shut up Harry, I don't mean his usual kinda strange, more, I don't know, flirty? He's been very, well, suggestive towards me lately and I don't like it! I mean, come on! He's my Father and he's trying to song me all the time! And I think,, well,,,"  
  
"Well what?" Harry put his arm around his Godfathers shoulder and gave it a reassuring squeeze.  
  
"He's stopped looking for a bride and has started to talk to me a lot about how I would want my wedding. And having the Royal ring makes fit both of our wedding ring fingers fitted, yesterday he showed me loads of different engagement rings and saying stuff like `I want our special day to be perfect right from the start so pick wisely!` Now, he's either found us both brides of he wants to marry me!"  
  
By now Harry had gone pale and looked positively ill. His eyes were filled with pity for the handsome young man that sat next to him. Taking a deep breath Harry looked Sirius in the eye and told him "Siri, your Father has found a bride. And it's you"  
  
With that said, Sirius burst into tears.  
  
  
  
TBC  
  
What will happen to our lovely Sirius? Will Harry get the beautiful Prince Draco? (D: NO!) Will a comet hit King Jupiter? (S: YES!) Will Remus *ever* get to be in this fic? (R/S: I HOPE SO!) Will I ever be able to write a chapter with out being interrupted? (S/R/D/H: NO!) The answers to all this and more (maybe) the next time I can be bothered to get of my lazy ares and write the next chapter!  
  
I WOULD LIKE TO GIVE 10 TONS OF CYBER CHOCOLATE TO ALL WHO HAVE REVIEWED MY HUMBLE FIC! AND IF YOU DON'T LIKE CHOCOLATE THE YOU CAN HAVE CYBER HUGS INSTEAD!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
REVIEW PLEASE!!!!!! 


	3. Paaaaiiiiiiiiinnnn! Neeeeeedles!

If you're looking for a disclaimer, go back and look at the other chapters! I think if there is anyone out there that has any doubts that I don't own HP & Co then you must be stupid, or just haven't bothered to read the first two chapters.  
  
S: You know, that sounded suspiciously like a disclaimer to me Scap.  
  
R: Totally agree!  
  
Me: Nuh ah! It wasn't 'cos I didn't actually say that I don't own Harry Potter and that JKR does!  
  
R/S: You just said it then!  
  
Me: Shaddup! _;;  
  
WARNINGS: SLASH! I REPEAT! SLASH! ONCE MORE, I SAID S - L - A - S - H! Ok? If not, bugger off!  
  
(Additional Notes) I can't find that storybook that this fairy tale is from so Iam just going to have to wing it form memory, so,, um,, it may suck more then my usual stuff. Oh, and I'd just like to mention that all the stuff about Remus and Sirius in this chapter I made up my self, in the real story the Prince and Princes had never clapped eyes on each other before. I've made up and added a lot of stuff in this fic so don't go thinking it's *all* from the story. I've used only the littlest bit of the real story and plumped it out almost entirely with my own stuff.  
  
VERY IMPORTANT (Additional additional notes: yes, I know, this has taken a very long time coming out (no pun intended) and I'd like to say all other note (apart from ones at the bottom) were written awhile ago and so was the first page and a third of this fic. I would also like every body (still) reading this that I have just had two teeth pull out (one on each side of my top row of teeth) and had to have multiple injections in my mouth (neeeedles, why?! Why the neeeedles!?!) My nose is numb, my lips are numb, the inside of my mouth is wearing off (so Iam feel the pain!) and I have to bit down on these little thingys so my jaw feels like hell and I can't take any pain killers (I can't even open my mouth!) and I spent the weekend throwing up! So I must apologise if this chapter suck/ there are lots of spelling mistaken and/or nothing makes sense, OK? So sorry! ^_^;; I'll do my best (I'll also do my best not to be sick and get vomit in my teeth wounds!) but bear with me ok? Thankies!)  
  
Chapter three: In which Harry has an idea and Remus finally makes it into the fic. (R: 'bout time too!)  
  
Prince Remus yawned and petted Aragorn, his faithful pet wolf, on the head.  
  
He was sitting on the bay window seat, looking out across the lands. More specifically, towards the Kingdom of Azkaban (Me: Sorry if I spelt it wrong!). This large and mighty Kingdom was home to a young man very dear to his heart, even if he hadn't heard from him in over five years.  
  
"I wonder what Padfoot is doing now. Bet he's forgotten all about me, I bet he has all the pretty girls and boys after him! Well, they can't have him! He's mine!" The amber eyed, honey haired Prince stood up abruptly, knocking Aragorn off his lap and onto the floor.  
  
The wolf simply got back up and nuzzled the clenched fist of his master in an attempt to calm the human down.  
  
This had become the norm in the Kingdom of Lunamesta. Every year, three months before the Prince's birthday he would get him self all wound up over the best friend he ever had, other then Aragorn that is.  
  
This was because of a handsome young boy that had spent four months out of every year at the palace since he was four years old and the Prince of Lunamesta, Prince Remus, was five.  
  
Every year he would arrive three months before Remus' birthday and leave a month after, always promising to come back again on Remus' insistence.  
  
Remus didn't know who the boy really was and didn't even know his real name referring to him always and his Padfoot, or Paddy. The Prince always knew that the other boy was a child of great importance or he wouldn't have been aloud to play with the Prince and all the staff and people with higher- ranking jobs or that were of great importance treated the younger boy if as much respect and the such as they did with their own Prince. But Remus never dwelled on that in his youth and soon it was pushed into the furthest recesses of his mind.  
  
On the mysterious boy's third visit to the palace he brought along a small wolf cub as a gift to Remus, the very same Aragorn that is brave, true and loyal (if not sometimes a little cheeky) to his master, the Prince.  
  
But eight years ago, three months before Remus' birthday Padfoot never came back but instead he sent Remus a letter. So for three whole years the two young boys sent letters back and forth until five years ago, when the letters from Padfoot fizzled out. This had depressed Remus a lot as Padfoot had promised to return, not only to play with the slightly older boy but one day to marry him as well.  
  
That might be an odd thing for Remus to ask one of his best friends. It's not that it's an uncommon thing for two men to get married, it's just that the Prince was considered to young to have chosen his beloved and many of the King's subjects passed it off as merely a childhood crush.  
  
Remus, of coarse, had screamed and shouted that he really did love Padfoot. People snickering that he didn't even know his `beloved's` real name. Even after all the years, and all the times Remus had got into a flaming rage, cursing Padfoot with very bad word known to man (and creating a few new ones) for never returning, the Prince still knew, that deep down in his heart of hearts, Padfoot was the only one for him.  
  
(Ok, so this is where I've picked up)  
  
Dropping back down onto his seat, Remus sighed once more and let his head press against the window.  
  
"What happened to you Paddy?"  
  
@#@#@#@#@#  
  
Sirius was lying on Harry's bed, tossing a ball up and down in the air space above/in front of him whilst Harry himself tried to come up with a plan.  
  
"How about I bind you to a big bird and fly you away?"  
  
Did I mention he was trying to come up with a good plan?  
  
"How about no?" Sirius rolled over and glared at his Godson. "Can't you think of anything? Anything at all?" Harry thought for a moment longer, gave up on that and then decided to go talk to his Mother (a very praise worthy women if there ever was one) as she, in Harry's opinion, knew what to do in just about every situation, just so long as it didn't involve frogs or injections.  
  
So off Harry umm, , , , , disappeared (H: What? o_0;;) to see his Mum. Leaving behind Sirius to fight off all unwanted advances from his far too over zealous Father.  
  
*A little later that night, Sirius has locked himself in his tower*  
  
[Banging is heard from waaaaaaaaay down stairs]  
  
"Come on my little beauty! Just one little kiss,, huuumm? For meeeeee?" Shouted up the King of Azkaban.  
  
Sirius is sitting on his canopied four poster bed, holding his knees and crying whilst staring blankly out of the window on the other side of the large bedroom at the very top of the tower.  
  
The window that face the Kingdom of Lunamesta.  
  
The window that face the young mans hope of escape.  
  
That night, through a haze of tears, part of a plan was formed  
  
TBC  
  
ME: Iam sorry, I really have to stop here (well, round it off as soon a possible more like) Iam just in too much pain to continue but I really want to post a new chapter as soon as possible. And those of you waiting for the next update of The End Of The World will have to wait just a bit longer, what with little under two weeks of work being done on my teeth and several pieces of very important GCSE coursework to be handed in this week I dout my target of updating chapter one and the new chapter two will be met. So once again - Iam very, very sorry!  
  
D: And lisping! ^_^  
  
ME: Shuddap! YOU try having a tooth pulled on each side and talking normally as well as being in pain!  
  
D: *Sniffles* Sowwwy.  
  
ME: Awww, it's ok, why don't you just come over here and help me feel better *Wink wink*  
  
D: Ummmm.  
  
ME: Gee, all I want is a back rub!  
  
D: Hehehehe #^_^#  
  
REVIEW PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Look, if you do, I'll share The Metatron with you! (Watch Dogma!) Huggles! 


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